1001 Albums: Elvis Presley (1956)

#2

boscoblogalb2_original

Artist: Elvis Presley

Album: Elvis Presley

Year: 1956

Length: 28:03

“If you wanna be hugged,
Well, you gotta hug me, too.
Oh yeah, if you wanna be hugged,
Well, you’ve gotta hug me, too.
Yeah, ’cause I ain’t for no one-sided love affair.”

I’ll be honest, when this album started I laughed really hard and it has nothing to do with it being an Elvis album.

Let me explain, I had just finished listening to Sinatra crooning about where his love might go and it immediately is followed up by a guy singing about his shoes. Here is a man, dealign with heartbreak, singing about the difficulties of coping with a break-up and the feelings that come with it and he’s immediately followed by a guy who is concerned about getting his shoes dirty. Sinatra, put your woes aside, Elvis has new shoes and he wants to let you know that he doesn’t want to get them fucking dirty. the contrast was too much for me and I burst out laughing, if that’s not a perfect representation of people today, fighting between actual problems and petty ones, than I don’t know what is.

But I digress… on with the album.

Elvis is one of those artists that I know a lot about. I’ve heard tons of stories and I know his popular songs and I’ve learned a great deal about him historically and his impact on music and the 50s, but he was never an artist that I’ve sat down and actually listened to his body of work. not sure why, maybe I was never really interested or maybe it’s because I’ve heard so much about him I didn’t need to listen to his music.

But I did and…

I really feel like Elvis is that guy we all would love to hate but just can’t. He immediately comes across as a douchebag with his stupid fucking shoes, but follows the rest of the album by being completely charming and cool. The whole time I could just picture him gyrating his hips in that sexy way he does and smiling that cocky smile of his. He’s sexy and he knows he is, which is why we want to hate him so much.

But god dammit is he fucking charming. This guy has so much cocky charm that you don’t even need to see his face to fall in love with him, his voice is more than enough. He brings you in with a fun party beat, I found myself snapping my fingers and tapping my feet like the fucking white guy I am, and then picks and chooses his moments to serenade you. Right when you think he’s too upbeat, he slows it down and sings to you, caressing your body with his voice, making you feel like you’re the only woman for him and before you think he’s too sensitive, he immediately goes into some more upbeat music showing how fun he is. God dammit, I bought into his charm the whole way through, makes me want to find him and just kiss him on the mouth (a very tender and sweet kiss of course).

I can see why women loved him so much (and I’m sure men too). He was the perfect blend of cocky and cool and sensitive that just played into everyone’s fantasies. Even when he’s singing about multiple women or telling a woman to fuck off, he does it in such a cool, fun, doesn’t give a shit attitude, that you can’t help but love him.  I think part of me secretly wishes I was as cool and cocky as he is, I think a lot of guys wish they were. I mean wouldn’t that be great? it’d make making friends so much easier… right?

the reality is, I don’t actually care (anymore at least) because I have one thing he doesn’t… Awkward goofball charm. believe me you don’t need to be cool and cocky to woo the ladies, sometimes being a neurotic doof works extremely well. Don’t believe me? Just ask my girlfriend, Sandra, and she’ll explain why she’s attracted to me (which I still can’t understand but hey, whatever works right?). He can swing his hips and serenade women all he wants but he’ll never be able to do the running man to an Aqua song. He can whisper sweet nothings and woo you with poetry, but can he be a smart ass with a penchant for absurd humour? No, No he can’t, that’s my thing Elvis! MINE! AND YOOOOU CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM MEEE!!!!

That being said you did make a rocking album and I want to have your babies you sexy mother fucker (not an insult, I’m sure he was sleeping with mothers and their daughters).

-Bosco

(P.s. Warning: there’s swearing… oops).

Photoshop Credit: Julian Branco

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